Abnormal Conversation
by TunaForDesert
Summary: Marui, Yukimura, Fuji, Shiraishi, Kenya and Oishi caught Ryoma, Kintarou, Sanada, Niou and Tezuka in an awkward conversation. Crack fic. Set during the U-17 camp. T for...well, it's T, you'll know.


**Warning**: Sexual innuendos.

**Disclaimer**: POT does not belong to me.

Start.

* * *

Marui sighed in contentment. After a long day of training, nothing was better than a hot tub of water.

"This is heaven…." The self-proclaimed tensai walked towards the lounging room.

Only to take a double take at the sight of Yukimura, Fuji, Shiraishi, Kenya and Oishi leaning towards the slightly ajar door.

"What are you guys doing?" he asked out of curiosity. They snapped their heads towards him so fast it could fall over the floor.

"Shh!" Kenya and Oishi hushed the volley specialist as they dragged him to join the eavesdropping.

"I think Marui's is the shortest, though." Ryoma's voice was heard from the lounging room. Marui leaned his head slightly in interest.

"Really?" that was Sanada's voice, "I've seen it before. But I'm not sure about Renji's. It seems short too."

"What are they talking about?" the confused redhead asked.

Kenya smirked, "Well, I've never thought Sanada and Tezuka would join this type of conversation." The speed player snickered silently. Yukimura and Fuji chuckled eerily.

"Me either. I never knew this side of Tezuka." The tensai of Seigaku admitted.

"I second that. Genichirou isn't as innocent as he seemed to be." Yukimura nodded.

"Huh?" Marui looked at them, bewildered. What in the name of chocolate cookies were they talking about?

"Shh, listen." Shiraishi said as he leaned closer. The others imitated him.

"Nope, Marui's is the shortest. I've seen it before. Hell, I could just imagine it." Ryoma said dryly.

"Hyoutei?"

"It's Shishido." Tezuka answered this time. "And the longest is Kabaji-san."

Marui blushed as realization dawned to him. He looked at the other in front of him who was watching him amusedly. "What?" he snapped. Kenya snickered as Oishi smiled apologetically.

"Really? I know for a fact Atobe's is the shortest. No matter how much he denied it. He thought he could fool me." Ryoma snorted.

"Yeah, it's totally Atobe-san." was that Niou?

"Wow, this would hurt Atobe's pride forever. But how did Ryo-chan knows that? Could it be…?" Fuji said slyly as he smirked and opened his eyes. Good God, nothing's ever ended up good when this guy opens his eyes.

"Yep, it's totally that, alright." Yukimura agreed.

"This conversation is abnormal." Oishi bit his nails. The guy looked like he wanted nothing more than to grab Ryoma and make a run for it.

"And that Tezuka! How could he be this irresponsible?!" wow, who knew Oishi could be a spitfire?

"Na, Koshimae, what's the point of this?" Tooyama's whiny voice reached their ears.

"_Good Lord_, was that Kin-chan?!" Shiraishi looked aghast.

"No, you will listen until we're finish." Sanada's stern voice cut through the air.

"Yosh! It's Seigaku's turn!" Niou said excitedly.

"Shortest?" Ryoma asked.

"Err…." Kintarou sounded unsure.

"It's the snake dude, for goodness sake." Niou said dryly.

"Ehhh!? How could you be sure?" Kintarou protested.

"I've seen it before, of course."

"You mean Yagyuu told you because he's quite close to Kaidoh." Sanada said dryly.

"Wow, Yagyuu and Kaidoh? That is totally canon." Kenya snickered.

"The longest?" Tezuka asked.

"Err…." Kintarou trailed off again.

"Good heaven, it's Momo-senpai!" Ryoma sounded annoyed and amused at the same time.

"Kaidoh would never live this down." Fuji chuckled. Marui was amused too.

"Shitenhouji?" Niou asked.

"Obviously, it's Shiraishi's." Tooyama answered swiftly.

Shiraishi's jaw dropped, as did Kenya's and Marui's.

"Saa, I never knew you're into your kouhai, Shiraishi. Congratulations about that." Yukimura smiled innocently.

"W-what…?" the poor captain stammered.

"Good, wait, how did you know _that_?" Sanada sounded cautious.

"I had it plastered in my room!" Tooyama sounded excited.

"Good heavens..." Kenya muttered.

"Shiraishi, I don't know what to say." Marui was aghast.

"W-wait!" nobody listened to him as Niou's voice was heard.

"You're worshipping that guy like a God."

"Nope, I just like Shiraishi-buchou very much!"

"But it's not normal to plaster that guy's name in your room." Tezuka sounded incredulous.

.

.

.

.

"You're shitting me!" Marui finally shouted.

XXX

"We're trying to help him with his English and the only ones he knew is his teammates' name in English." Niou made a face.

"Well, it can't be help." Tezuka sighed and pushed his glasses.

Suddenly, they heard a voice that sounded like Marui's.

"_You're shitting me!"_

"Ah, it seemed Akutagawa finally found Marui." Niou chuckled.

XXX

Omake

"You! You two knew this all along, didn't you?" Oishi said accusingly at the two.

Yukimura and Fuji smiled.

"But how did you….?" Marui sounded cautious.

"Right after they said Kaidoh's and Marui's is the shortest." Yukimura answered.

"….."

"….."

"_Good heavens_! Did you two peeked at your friends' *censored*!?"

That was Kenya. And it's safe to say that the speed player spent a good night at the gym.

* * *

End.


End file.
